Half full

With all my heart and will I hope this never dies..

Even if my heart stops beating it will still guide me through..

The ruins of what once was a spark of light..

And with hope, I breath life anew..

Though the pain won't subside I look with a far eye towards a future..

Where everything is fine and whats was ruined now renewed..

Because I won't give up and I will keep fighting..

For that bright glimmer that has now subdued..

I vowed never to chase after something that went out of my way..

So that is a good way to say I'll stay..

For I'll never let go as long as you'll have me..

And I'll never chase because we'll never leave this place..

Half empty

Im writing this hoping it would reach you..

Before we do something we might regret..

I think about the girl that I once met..

And how I wish I could tell her.. I love her..

Have we been gone this far along?. 

That we sustained this much damage..

From a troubled past.. did we just prolong.. 

The inevitable end and made it last..

Do I wish to ammend to I wish to cure?. 

Right now my mouth is empty and my throat is dry..

If we decide to walk differently in this obscure crossroad..

Will you still remember this when we say goodbye?.

And hope to reunite as time goes by..

Crossing paths

Its quite a shame that we met just now..

When we could have been something back then somehow..

To cross paths now seems meaningless.. 

As with each passing day I must digress..

 All the things I want to say and things that I want to do..

But its hard to do it when these feelings also come from you..

You act as if you want yourself to be saved..

But on the other hand you just linger and keep your distance.

What a pair we could've made but it just didn't happen..

As you take your leave and heed that curtain call.. 

I'm glad that we had that chance and didn't choose to fall..

Because for a moment there I thought I didn't but I already had it all..

The thought of you...

One day it crossed my mind to end it all..

To regain what I once was and be who I want to be..

But the thought of you saved me and gave me clarity..

That although I am not  who I want to be.. 

I am still me, and that there are more ways than one toward your destiny.

To take the easy way and just let it slip..

I thought of letting go and just loosen my grip..

But the thought of you made it clear..

That I would not let go and make it disappear..

It seems appealing sometimes that i could just get up and leave..

But where would that take me? Where would it lead?

But the thought of you just won't make me leave..

For some reason I want to stay and believe..

Its starts with..

For the longest time I had been struggling with my capabilities. I always thought that  I didn't had the chops to do anything or be anyone. This was basically my motto in life. When ever I see someone I know succeed in life, I give them my nod of approval but somewhere in the back of my mind I always wondered if I could do the same.

I thought that the problem was everything else. It never occured to me that the problem was looking me dead in the eyes as I looked at the mirror. Then one day it finally dawned upon me that I needed to do something with my life. I needed to prove to myself that I can do what others can. That I could also achieve in life.

So I picked up my bass guitar and started learning how to actually play it. It was a small step but I needed a catalyst for my new found determination. I started practicing, slowly, constantly and then I started to improve quite a bit and I was quite surprised that I could finally do something "good". 

I also started growing my hair for the first time and it was a very exciting experience. After accomplishing these small goals I realized that I could do anything and accomplish a lot of things if I set my mind to it and focus on achieving it. Sure it was just some petty goals but it really opened up alot of doors for me. 

Everyone has the potential to do something big with their lives. All you have to do is "start" with something and that something will spread like a wildfire that will light the way towards you're dreams.

From Scratch..

Born with a silver spoon but now broken dirtied and bent..
It seems that a good life was not enough and I was meant..
to find something greater and become someone better..
And so the spoon was soiled and kept out of reach..

Underneath a pile of rubble I dig and I search..
for this elusive ticket to comfort and  the door towards..
the easy way out... A way away from all the madness and strife..
not knowing that along the way I am experiencing "the" life..

With each desperate effort I claw my way through..
My body strengthens and my mind restarts anew..
A determined will and a focused gaze.. towards a new agenda..
Re-emerging as a new entity all together..

Hoping to find that spoon again someday..
To build a better future and pass it on to the next..
Regain, reinstate what once was.. but now worthy..
to be better than what I used to be..

misfortunes of a late bloomer...

unfortunately left behind..
with things that was supposed to be..
accomplished long ago..
now sitting in an empty room..
alone, clinging on to yesterday..

What if he did this? what if he did that?
questions left unanswered, things left unsaid..
Is it too late to make it? will trying be in vain?
still lingering on empty thoughts and chances lost..
hoping for that faint light of tomorrow..

maybe things will comeback..
maybe he'll do things right..
and deal with whats left..
for what once was can never be..
but sunrise breathes a new...