vessel..

a shell with the innards scraped off..

grasping for life,meaning, purpose..

but afraid to explore the unknown..

living with a fate not etched in stone..

an empty feeling nurtured involuntarily..

how to escape this forsaken reality..

oh angel spread your wings and lift me up..

fill this hole with a big wide gap..

striving to find a sense of belonging..

for that's all in life that makes it worth prolonging..

hoping to find this before i wither away...

a place to go and where i could stay..

Whim..

The way I live and my life's hymn..

all in random and born from a whim..

everything comes form a different direction..

but at the end of the day there is still a connection..

An enigma.. A corridor full of doors..

As one closes, another open wide..

no rules to follow, will not confide..

whatever happens only I will decide..

a double edged sword of the will..

for better or worse but still..

the freedom to choose a path..

the thrill of having nothing to lose..

so much to do with so little time..

with a life and volition that is mine..

infinity is where I draw the line..

but not until i decide on whats fine..

what to do what to do, even i can't tell...

a little paranoia..

a little paranoia anyone?.

its better than having none..

but why have some you ask?.

open your ears and listen..

not everybody shines and glistens..

a little paranoia for the hell of it..

to avoid the blow before the hit..

for in every crowd there is a misfit..

to mess up your course a little bit..

and break your resolve and grit..

a little paranoia and be endowed with..

protection form a world uncertain..

not a matter of sanity but reality..

to be ready but not to disdain..

with the power you were bestowed..

the man who gave everything.

the man lays it all on the line..

for a chance at something sublime..

little did he know about the risks..

when he did he was out of time..

as he looks back, was it all worth it?.

all the sacrifice and the compromise..

despite it all he did not despise..

the things that he did, what he gave..

he gave it all with no regrets..

left everything behind..

with a smile on his face he lifts his head..

and say hello to what lies ahead..

a man free from binds and connections..

liberation?

redemption?

dissatisfaction?

all wrapped up behind the cheerful smile..

shield..

a sword to the right and a shield to the left..

the fight goes on and i swing my sword..

i face defeat one too many times and cower..

drop the right and hold on to the left..

cover up everything with my buckler..

whether good or bad I'm simply weaker..

to face anything, everything for that matter..

fight or run? its obviously the latter..

hold it up to cover the hole..

only to hide but not to fill..

was a wrong decision but you stood clear..

waiting for me to put it down..

to drop the guard again..

and face the reality of the world..

right to left, left to right you help me up..

I close my eyes and count to ten..

and march forward.

open book..

whats so bad about being an open book?.

I open the covers that so everyone can look..

have access to what i have and what was took..

ah yes read on as I lay my story..

but with the permission comes restriction..

afraid to flip and carry on after reading..

only but a few pages summarizing the story..

some find it mesmerizing some find it boring..

none the less it is who I am..

nothing to hide nothing to slip under..

a bit bold as some may say..

and a little dangerous to expose..

but i say it is well worth it..

every line and every prose..

read away my good people..