Empathy..

In an interview with Louie once..
it was said that the only thing..
that saved him from damnation..
and from himself..

conscience..

now I find myself..
in the same position..
this is where I draw my line..
between sweet and bitter..

salvation and damnation..
Never over indulgent..
Never stationary..
just giggling at the sidelines..

as i swing the pendulum..
but never linger..
my allegiance a riddle..
as I am caught dead in the middle..

Breather..

A big whiff of fresh air..
as i leave my shell..
where i spent..
the entirety of my past..

wake up and smell the coffee..
get up and hear the seraph's singing..
as new nebulae bloom ripe..
just right for the picking..

renewed vigor..
rise up to the plate..
embrace who i was meant to be..
no rest for the wicked.....

blood pumping organ...

i dare not call..
this organ which was once..
the center of everything..
now only a hole..

biologically keeps me alive..
emotionally blank and empty..
"moments" bring back..
fragments but only momentarily..

never whole.. kind of sad..
but it's quiet and I'm glad..
to get away from all the noise..
and just be in my own hole..

of the part that shall not be named.. no longer..

Everyday Jitters..

everyday I'm afraid..
everyday the wall grows bigger..
the feeling gets heavier..
as the day unravels..

shake it off, fight it out!
everyday my strength grows..
everyday my mind ripens..
the fear remains..
but courage lingers..

Seraph..

came as a surprise..
caught me from behind..
an exclamation point..
to a new found life..

a momentary lapse..
from my ongoing..
emotional skepticism..
a wonderful feeling..

as the dawn breaks..
everything reverts back..
the spark disappears..
left in the moment..

Solace in a Stick

Late at night I light up..
I sit, wait and ponder..
Of all that was, that is..
that will be.. I wonder..

I think not between the lines..
Of bitter nostalgia and false hope..
But rather look forward with..
optimism with every smoke..

A touch of solace with every hit..
And I'll never regret each moment..
Of peace and solitude..
As I pay with grief and torment..

Come judgement day..